Sunday, July 5, 2009

Just A Closer Walk With You

I think I'm rather silly sometimes. I will go for days, weeks... yes even months, without seeking the Lord first. In fact, I'll even venture to say that most of my life has been spent apart from my God! I spend so much of my time and energy pursuing other things and worrying about my life, my finances, school, anything and everything under the sun. (Ya know, all that stuff God's told me specifically to not worry about.) Next thing I know, my priorities are all jumbled in messes and I'm stuck in so many ruts I don't even know where I am anymore.

Then... something miraculous happens. It hits me! Aka... God hits me over the head and says "Where did you go? I miss you." And He gently reorients me back toward home. God's mercies are so great to me! Not long after this happens I always realize that I've missed God too! I had been apart from Him so long that I forgot how much I enjoyed, how much I needed, His company. It's at these times I am so overwhelmed by God's love and His power, that I can see most clearly my need for a Savior and His overflowing cup of forgiveness. But... I am a fallen and very predictable creature. Next thing I know I'm distracted by weeds growing on the side of the road and I am all lost and confused again. I always forget Who I love the most. Praise be to God! He always reminds me :)

I've had one of these moments recently... at the end of last month. I began to see how my priorities were slipping into nothingness as I got caught up in blogs and writing up unit studies for homeschool that I won't use for at least another six or seven years... God willing. I was forgetting to live in today, for the Lord and as a wife for my husband. My vocation was being sucked of its joy and I was not being satisfied and content with what the Lord had given to me. I was not being faithful with little, how could I expect for God to give me more responsibilities? I was convicted. I repented for... well... let's just say it's been more times than I can possibly count. But something needed to change.

I decided to implement a discipline for myself that I actually learned from another dear blogger. I told myself that I would not get on the computer until I had first read my Bible for the day. And I made sure my dear husband knew about my resolution, so that he would hold me accountable. I started July 1st and have been keeping up with it for almost a week now. Ok... that's not very long BUT it's progress for me. I have also noticed that now my priorities are turning around completely. I haven't been obsessing over blogs or recipes or fun ideas for children who don't exactly exist yet. I have been focused on serving the Lord and, in turn, serving my husband! I still check my blogs almost daily, but not religiously. And I am remembering how wonderful it is to bask in my Savior. I am also very excited about the Bible reading plan I'm following right now. I love it so much. I will try and post about that tomorrow.


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